What does the Queen, condoms and dunny paper have in common?

The good, the bad, the ugly 2020

When images really are worth a thousand words.


No masks on, so why bother? New pair of gloves for each person she shakes hands with? I doubt it. Queen bee virus.


All gone! No photos of the dickheads using them on their “hands” yet.


So much for the baby milk powder panic the last few years.


That fat guy would easily go through two rolls per day.


Cruel overseas people with fancy dunnys that use water jets to wash their cracks … are now picking on Aussies.


I’ve been using this Aldi kitchen paper to wipe my ass for years. One square folded 4 ways is a ripper. Wipes thick grease off a BBQ OK.

I ran out and needed more. No rush, who else is going to wipe their ass on BBQ paper?

So I laid in until 3pm today reading all the funny panic BS on the Daily Mail website.

Get there about 3.30pm and nothing left but tissues and BBQ butt paper.

The sight of zombies standing motionless in the Ashmore Aldi aisle staring … trying to make their minds up to either grab these kitchen towels or the still abundant boxes of tissues to wipe their zombie butts with, really is a sight I want to forget.

Pricks nicked all the regular plain UHT 1lt milk too. (I use them for cups of tea and hang over cures)

Bloody BGFV-10130701 (bill gates funded virus)  stuffing up my pleasant Aldi shopping experience today.

Ow, no bloody Dim Sims either! The zombies got them too!!!!

Ran into Drakes to get another bag of Zopper Doopers. (so irate, I forgot to look for Dimsims)

Shit, just spent $9 at Aldi for 24 snags, yet Drakes have them 1kg on special for $5 this week. Bugger, not enough freezer space.

Grabbed 5KG of washed spuds for $4 instead.

I hate shopping among dunny paper zombies.




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11 Thoughts to “What does the Queen, condoms and dunny paper have in common?”

  1. the former artist formally known as the bush

    This is why I choose to shop at an AUSTRALIAN supermarket – Drakes
    Its more like the thinking mans supermarket…
    I bet the poo ticket aisle was adequately stocked – I like the i-care double length fully recycled and made in AUSTRALIA for $4.20 a 4 pack (it is actually double length they have done a good job here)
    I have obviously however missed the $5/kg mystery meat sausages special you mention – reckon il be returning tomorrow to take advantage
    maybe I should buy some toilet paper too just in case…well everyone else is doing it….
    Does corona virus cause the shits? or just the media coverage of it….?

  2. the former artist formally known as the bush

    I almost forgot this weeks rompa room spam
    Girl and Girl are a garage rock quartet with a yearning to sooth those smooth little ears of yours! Supported by indie pop/rock band Sellin’ Petrol, (they’re back!) four piece indie rock band YONDER and indie pop act Ghost Contest!
    (Back room at the Hinterland Hotel)
    Friday 6th March, 2020
    FREE ENTRY / 8PM / 18+

  3. Girl and girl? Gee they must have imaginative lyrics … “Come here baby and baby, I want to kiss and kiss you, Oww and oww, I want to kiss and kiss you!”. Tell the truth and truth, you only go to that coronavirus venue for free and free dunny paper and the off chance and chance you might get tasered too and too. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8076953/Toilet-paper-frenzy-results-shopper-TASERED-argument-loo-roll-Big-W.html?ns_mchannel=rss&ns_campaign=1490&ito=1490

  4. the former artist formally known as the bush

    No I dont think Girl and Girl play Justin Bieber songs
    sshhh dont tell the pub im only going tonight to steal poo tickets…

  5. the former artist formally known as the bush

    Ha yeah I saw that – glad you liked it
    another great song by the world famous sunshine coast socks n sandal wearers – thought it might have got a dedicated post here rather than just a comment…

    1. I’m not that desperate for content.

  6. the former artist formally known as the bush

    I want a refund…
    Girl and Girl only had 1 girl in it – the drummer and pretty good too…
    great music all round –
    Sellin’ Petrol had a good crowd and did a great show

    1. Reading her twitter updates … the other Girl didn’t want to catch Bill Gates virus from a bunch of … “grotty thong wearing Nernagatang prevs in the audience with rolls of dunny paper stuffed down their baggy tracky pants”. She supposedly took offence at those stars of Solomon flashing too.

  7. bald avenger

    Sellin’ Petrol is changin’ their name to Sellin’ Toilet Paper

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