This page is incomplete, and to the best of my ‘Alan Bond’ memory, should not to be taken as 100% factual. It’s a
resume reminder page reminding me I used to work hard. Doing the long drives in M1 traffic to and from Brisbane each day, etc.
Yeap, back in those bygone blue pill days when I didn’t know my taxes were being sent overseas to fund nut-balls ‘vowing to outgun Australia’
Who the hell would help pay for their own demise? In protest, I now ensure I stay under the yearly threshold.
- 1983-84 After school paper run. Sorrento Newsagency (1.5km bicycle ride in the opposite direction from home) down all the shops to the former Gold Coast Council Chambers all for $2 an afternoon.
- 1985-87 Fresh out of Benowa High, no drunken schoolies break on crack and meth, straight to work – Miami Smash Repairs, workshop all-rounder, car detailing, paint and panel shop
gooferoff-sider. Thanks Uncle John (RIP) for the hook up.
- 1987-90 Wall and floor tiler off-sider. Thanks Uncle John (RIP) for that hook up too.
- 1990-95 Self employed wall and floor tiler (back stuffed up)
- 1995-98 DAVIS LIGHTING (Molendinar) production line assembly, Storeman, QLD wholesale phone sales and orders. Kinda unpopular after winning the Melbourne Cup sweeps three years in a row. One day I dropped everything and raced home (Tamborine Village) when the last GF rang crying. Never went back, too embarrassed to tell them the GF was crying over some former lover BS.
- 1998-2003 break up with GF blues, woke to 9/11 truth, playing golf, living off my savings – chasing the golfers dream – nothing to show for it but 12 clubs and a 13.5 handicap. RIP Payne Stewart.
- 2003-2005 savings run out – ‘work for the dole’ projects e.g. Heritage Park
- 2005-2006 Bradken (Runcorn) train bogie assembly and dispatch loading via 30 ton fork lift. Had to quit after I lost my car license. (one XXXX Gold stubbie over the breathalyser)
- 2007-2008 Coats Hire Maintenance Yard (Meadowbrook) Co-yardman, loading-unloading machinery / wash-bay / paint workshop off-sider. Long time senior yard-man ‘Lazy Les’, got the shits because I left him with nothing to do in-between his sneaky cigarette breaks – so he hired an elderly man to do my yard jobs and stuck me in the wash bay … so I quit.
- 2009-2019 self-employed, very part time, small engine mechanic and sales. Work phone has more missed calls than answered calls. I do things when I feel like it.
TRADES – INDUSTRY
- Wall floor tiler
- Storeman / Fork lift / Yardsman
- Phone sales
- Paint and panel shop offsider
- Production line-assembly
- Small engine mechanic / sales
- Fitting / installing vehicle electronics
- NASA stage hand / moon prop maker
- Linux, Android, Windows
- OS installs, removals, upgrades
- Webmaster / hosting / server admin (Apache etc.)
- PC building, repairs, fault finding
- Software installation / removals
- Virus, spy-ware, malware etc. removal
- HD formatting, wiping, SSD upgrades, partitioning, testing, exchanges, backing up, recovery, secure destruction
- ADSL / NBN router set-ups, LAN, WAN, WiFi
- Printer set-ups, cable / WiFi
- Network hubs, cable and WiFi
- Dreamweaver (manual web page making)
- FTP, POP, SMTP servers / client set-up
- VPN, TOR and other spooky stuff.
- WordPress / Drupal installing / operation on private servers.
- Photoshop (troll image creation)
- Word / OpenOffice
- Audio editing (Audacity etc)
- Video editors. (DaVinci / Sony Vegas etc)
- Raspberry Pi / Kodi / security cameras
- Music composition / guitar
- Golf (real man’s game)
- Those with XX chromosomes
- Comedy movies / shows (Dave Chappelle for the win)
- Becoming a sit down comedian
- Becoming a musical joke like ‘The Chats’
- Exposing Adam Weishaupt
- Sleeping in until lunch time
Well, what are you waiting for? HIRE ME!!