Dear PM Morrison, I hope you’re well rested after your Hawaiian holiday. New crisis this week, bat virus is killing people. You have 5 minutes to spare? The plan is simple.
STEP 1: IMMEDIATELY stop all travel between Australia and China.
STEP 2: see step 1
I don’t #ucking care if it’s their New Year’s party time, and their travel plans interrupted. Where the #uck are you?
I predict a run on face and eye protection goggles at Bunnings in the coming week.
If your favourite dish is bat soup, I recommend you stop being a #ucking freak, and have an apple instead. Three squeaks mouse? Bats and mice, these people really are an alien fricking species.